One Year Ago

A year ago today, I found out I was pregnant, what that test didn't tell me was just how much my life would change. I reflected on that change this very morning when I awoke in a daze from another long night of poor Zayd crying off and on with his cold. I realized that our lives were unequivocally altered forever because of what really boils down to one decision.
Around Christmas of last year (2008), we decided it was "time." Whatever that means... But, at any rate, we started the process. Around the end of January I started feeling a little "weird." I can't really describe it, but I think women just know when something is different. I was almost embarrassed to bring it up because I knew it hadn't been very long, and it wasn't likely. So, I waited as long as I could (about 2 days) and just spit it out: Nick, I think we should get a pregnancy test, or something along those lines. Even as I said the words, I wasn't believing it. So, the night of the Burr and Forman after holiday party, we stopped at Walgreens and picked up a couple of ClearBlue's and some prenatal vitamins (I am pretty sure I bought some candy too, because I never go into Walgreen's without buying some candy). I took the first test that night and as I have previously referred, I didn't do it exactly right, because I refused to read the directions, thinking how hard can it be? So, we waited until the next morning, and like a child on Christmas morning, I opened up my test, waited the 2 minutes (which is really not a long time to wait, they've come a long way on those things), and there it was, the vertical line, that I had faintly seen even on the test that was "mishandled." I wish I could put into words the feelings of excitement, anticipation, fear, elation, and relief (well, I guess I could put it into words). While I wasn't sure if I was ready for it to happen right away, I still wanted it to.

I know that before I know it, I'll be looking back at his birth one year later. I know I have gotten sappy on you probably one too many times, but I feel so blessed to have had an easy pregnancy and delivery and most importantly a wonderfully healthy happy (most of the time) baby. I could not ask for more!